I have a thing for bags and purses. BIG bags and purses. Like take me to the store and I’m headed for the biggest bag in there.

Things weren’t always this way. When I first started carrying a purse, I had something small. Enough for a lip gloss and a couple dollars. But as time went on and I went through more things in life, the bags I carried got bigger. And the bigger the bag got, the more stuff I felt I had to put in it.  Oftentimes, a lot of pointless stuff. So much stuff that my bags were so heavy and overflowing, it was unbearable to carry it…but I felt I had to.

I look back and realize my purse was a reflection of my life. Internally, I was carrying so many things that I needed to let go- the hurt and pain of past relationships, undue guilt and shame. My mind was overflowing with irrational thoughts that kept me weighted down and unable to move beyond my past and my mistakes into the bright future that God had destined for me.

I didn’t realize how much baggage I had been carrying…until today. When I looked at my purse and realized that it was probably the smallest bag I had carried in years. And I checked its contents and it was only filled with things that I needed.  And when I put it on my shoulder, I didn’t lean to the side because the weight was too much to handle.

What are you holding on to and carrying with you or within you that’s keeping you from the life you’re destined to live? Whatever it is, let it go. Let go of anything that will hinder or stop you from getting all that’s destined for you. I promise, you’ll feel so much better when you stop carrying all that baggage.

I Almost Did It…

Again…

The number of likes and shares decreased on my pictures and posts.  I didn’t feel like people were receiving what I was putting out.  A cloud of doubt came over me and rained down many negative thoughts that made me question could I really do this?  Should I do this?  Fear grabbed me and put me in a prison where I talked myself out of every blog or post that came to mind.  Don’t expose yourself like that, people will judge.  Do you really want them to know that about you? 

I would go to my computer only to close it or get distracted with some other task.  My notebook and my pens sat collecting dust waiting for me to bring them together and write down the many ideas that were swirling around in my head like a violent hurricane or tornado just waiting to be released.  But, I wouldn’t write or type convincing myself that no one needed to hear me.

I’ve struggled with this for some years now.  Where in the beginning, I put my heart and soul into something.  I’m all in.  Daily I’m working towards my goals, dreams, and aspirations.  But then, I stop.  I give up.  I convince myself that I’m not good enough.  That I’m not needed.  That I can’t keep doing whatever it is that I’m doing.

But this time, something different happened.  I got to that point of quitting and it seemed like something awakened in me.  Something inside of me said you can’t give up.  There’s someone out there that needs to read what you have to say.  They need to know that they too can make it through.  That small still voice told me not to focus on the numbers and focus on the purpose.  I realize now that what I do is much more than the number of likes, comments, or shares I receive.  Even If I help one person along the way, I did what I was supposed to do.  So now it’s no longer about what I do, but why I’m doing it. 

I almost did it.

Again.

But thank God I didn’t.