Young and Married: Is it Worth It?
Every so often when I’m scrolling on social media, I come across a post that asks, “What’s the point of getting married?” As I scroll through the comments, I see people who have tried marriage before and who went through issues like infidelity and financial struggles and can’t really see how marriage benefited them. I’ve seen people who argue that marriage is just a “Christian” idea and because they don’t share those same beliefs, they feel marriage is another way to force the Bible and its principles on people. And there are others who just see it as a piece of paper and another way for the government to make money off of something.
I remember a time when I wasn’t sure I wanted to be married, too. October 12, 2014 is the exact date that I swore off marriage, well for the first time. That was the day I called off my engagement.
I was broken.
How could this happen to me? We were supposed to have this BEAUTIFUL wedding.
Wait, did you say Beautiful wedding? Yes, I did. Marriage wasn’t the focus and after looking back was something that we shouldn’t have been working for. It wasn’t the time for that. But because I was convinced that we were destined for a great marriage disguised in a beautiful wedding and that blew up in my face I was giving up on marriage completely.
Don’t talk to me about marriage.
Don’t look at me considering marriage.
Marriage was out.
And that was how I was with my now husband, Chris. When our relationship began, we honestly just said we would be friends which turned into us being best friends, but I still wasn’t sold on marriage. Especially when we began going through our own issues. I almost felt like I was reliving some of the same things I had gone through in my previous relationship and at times I blamed him for things that weren’t his fault.
And then it seemed like out of the blue something changed.
I’m not sure how or why, but I couldn’t see myself without him. Even with all the things we had been through, and we have been through a lot.
Birth and death.
Increase and loss.
Love and hate.
But there was something deep down inside of me that connected with him and it let me know that taking the next step into marriage was worth it.
As I look back, I realize what did it for me. I stopped focusing on society and all of its standards, timelines, and opinions. I let go of comparing myself and my relationship to others around me. I gave up the idea of a beautiful wedding and focused on the beauty of loving God. Then loving myself. And finally loving somebody else.
It’s hard being young and married in a society that glamorizes independence and infidelity but shuns the idea of marriage or tells you that you should wait until you’ve become fully settled in your career, got a bank account for a safety net “just in case something happens,” and have found someone that you think you could spend the rest of your life with. Or that even says, let go of your morals, values, and beliefs because society says they don’t matter anyway when the divorce rate is so high.
Being young and married is worth it to me because I found love in the deepest way possible. And that makes it enough for me.